Sometimes

Sometimes the rain of God's blessing is coming down so heavily that you feel your heart about to burst with the glorious fullness. God has been gracious to an undeserving creature. You feel as if you'll drown in all this goodness. Fear begins to creep in, wondering if you'll burst from the happiness. You want to shout praises to God, to sing and dance, to jump for joy, to shout from the rooftops what He has done, to show some sort of thanks for all this amazing grace that you don't deserve. But the words don't come. All you can do is kneel speechlessly before the throne of grace, as you try to find words to express your gratitude. The words don't come, but the song your heart sings - it is enough.

Finding God in Nature

"God writes the gospel not in the Bible alone, but on trees and flowers and clouds and stars." - Martin

Where do we find God? The answer is, quite literally, right outside your door. The Bible is God's Word, a book of instruction and love letters written expressly for us, but sometimes we forget that God exists outside of the pages of a book. To find the gospel, step outside. Feel the breeze playfully toss the wisps of your hair out of place. Watch the glorious majesty of a thunderstorm, with the trees bowing low and the thunder crashing loud. Spend time with an ant as she forges for food. Examine the complexity of a flower. God isn't contain in the pages of a book, only present when we open it, He is here, all around us. These are His gifts to us. We see His infinite knowledge, His glorious majesty, as we watch the beauty of nature all around us.

Random thoughts on a quote by Ann Voskamp

"The only man you want to give your life to is one who makes you hunger for Christ, believe in Grace, experience the other-world love of God." - Ann Voskamp

I came across this quote recently on a blog I've started reading. It is a great reminder about what I need to be looking for in a man - not the handsome smile, perfect haircut, particular age, certain looks - but someone that becomes a running mate in the race towards the goal. For the purpose of marriage is not to have someone that gives you flowers on Valentine's Day, but to have that person there sanctifying you, encouraging you, correcting you, turning your face towards Christ, a life partner in your God-given mission. As single women, it is easy to let  our emotions run free and become distracted by a handsome face or the right words. Let us instead keep our focus on Christ, and seek to find someone that turns our face towards Him.

Multitude Mondays

#26-#40

Three year anniversary of adopting Janae. She is such a bundle of energy, she is almost always jumping, dancing or running around, thus my nickname for her is "Tigger". It is beautiful to see the relationship between her and Jonathan, especially when he has been in the hospital. The past three years have flown by, feel like yesterday when I cradled her tiny body in my arms. We named her Janae, for it means "God has answered" or "God's gift". After the heartache of many failed adoptions, we knew God had finally answered our prayers and given us a precious gift. She is a beautiful little lady, and I am excited to watch her grown in her walk with the Lord.

Successful surgery, and a quick recovery.

Only spending overnight in the hospital.

When the building is locked, and the band late to the dance...realizing the multitude of things that can go wrong, but thankful that they don't.

Hearing that friends are safe after a terrible tornado.

34 days until I spend the weekend with a dear friend.

Four days until one of the best weeks the whole year long.

Discovering a drive-in theatre not too far away.

Laughing together with (some of) my family as we watch Gnomeo and Juliet.

Forgiveness from God and others when we fail.

The silly smile of a little man as he signs "I love you".

Finally getting somewhere on an important decision.

Seeing a relevant article on a topic that's been brought to mind.

New mercy from the Lord, every single morning, without fail.

Christian parents that have raised us right.

Overwhelmed by grace

#11 - #25
Being sent home from the hospital early enough to take our previously planned trip
Leaving on time
A good deal on a gorgeous ball gown
Nap time in the car. Nothing like a few quiet moments while travelling
Finally getting a reservation mix-up worked out, even though it took an hour
Children laughing at the silliest things
Adorable babies at the Orphan Summit. So many cute kids!
Safe travels there and back again
God gave a handsome little man life, has brought him through more than once when he has been close to death. This little man gives joy to those around him, and he can hardly go anywhere without people saying how cute he is. No one would know what all he has been through, for he has had a happy, patient, joyful spirit through it all.
A little boy walking along even when doctors said he wouldn't.
Getting booked for another calling gig.
Just two more weeks!
Forty-five days until I meet a dear friend
Zephaniah 3:17
Thunderstorms. I love listening and simply being in awe in the presence of that tiny taste of His majestic strength.

Men and Mountains

What are men compared to rocks and mountains?

There is something about mountains that stirs my soul. The beautiful majesty of these towering mounds awakens a breathless awe. The road moves with the mountain - up, down, over and around. The clouds gracefully dance along the peaks, like a fluffy mound of whipped cream on a slice of warm cherry pie. Something about these heights brings me closer to the one that created them. It gives me a sense of my smallness, while telling me of the grandeur of my King. In the shadow of these hills, I stand in awe of my Father and worship Him.

Normal

Normal. What a conceited word, snobbishly looking down at me in all its normalcy. Sometimes you wish you could be like them, those normal people. The ones with a quiet existence. Nothing out of the ordinary happens to them. But you know, their lives...they must be so boring.

Multitude Mondays

Multitude Mondays

#1 - #10

A little boy that is getting better.

A large, spacious room with a lovely view and windows that let the sun stream through.

The perfectly timed words of a friend that tell me what I need to hear.

Three very short weeks until five awesome days called BWSC.

Fifty-two days until I see a dear friend in person!

Coming in just sixty cents under the limit for the meal tickets.

Laughter of both the young and old echoing off the walls - after all, it is the best medicine.

Those special women to which God gives children, but especially my own beautiful, amazing mother.

Reassurance that God is in control, even when previous plans are completely shattered.

Learning I'll be an aunt. Even if it was by phone, while driving, and didn't fully sink in right away. I can't wait to meet my niece/nephew!

Randomness

It hit me - I'm starting turning into the typical blogger, typing random facts that no one particularly cares about or reads. My old-style posts are there, in my head, I just haven't had time to bring them to life. Scary prospect, becoming typical. Mostly because I feel the constant push to become mainstream, and in so many ways I've lost ground (which has been good in certain areas). But I'm changing, I've lost passions I once held, but I'm not sure where they've gone - have they died or are they simply smouldering under the surface and will reawaken when God sees fit. Yet somehow I've changed at least a little into the girl I once would've scorned. Some was maturity, the experience of life, and just growing up. Some was friends that planted the ideas or argued the point. It is frightening, frightening indeed.

I am tired. Physically. Emotionally. Mentally. Simply exhausted. It was a beautiful day spent with friends while seeing a play. I love having shared memories with friends, things to look back on and smile at. I learned today that I am going to be an aunt. It is starting to sink in and I am so incredibly happy. I want to cry tears of joy. Yet there are tears of sadness, for today also brought sad news about a friend. It's like oil and vinegar being shaken together in a jar. I want my little brother to get well. I have hopes and dreams that I wish I could know if they would be fulfilled. I am weary of trying to figure out and plan my future. I'm afraid of making the wrong choice. I wish there was a checklist for my life. That I could find that person that would marry me, if such a man exists. Perhaps a schedule of my life, of what I need to focus on and accomplish when. Or perhaps just a mental rest about decisions made. I know this paragraph, this post, is broken, rambly, and perhaps a bit silly. Congrats if you actually read it, especially to the end.

My trust is ultimately in Yahweh. He is writing my life story, and I can't wait to read it.

Pens and Pencils

The writing implement of choice can really say a lot about someone. Pen and ink convey confidence, a sense of finality, of no going back. A pencil, on the other hand, gives you the opportunity to go back and change any mistakes, completely erasing the memory of their existence. In one writing course I took in school, a pen was the only thing you could write with. At first I thought it was a stupid rule, I hated not being able to go back and change what I had already written. I did come to realize how good his justification for the rule was - when writing with a pen you are more careful about working through your thoughts before placing them on paper. (Though I still like writing with pencils when I'm having a hard time organizing my thoughts or working on something I feel is important.) But it made me think about God's Word - He has written His Word, His covenant, in pen and ink. It can't be changed. All of it is there for me to see, there isn't going to be something erased or added in when I'm not looking. It makes me extremely grateful for a God that has written His Words and promises in ink.

Circles

Sometimes you get tired of everybody and everything. Nothing new under the sun becomes a heavy, crushing burden you can't tolerate anymore. The same cycles, the same hurts, the same excuses. And you want to go somewhere far, far away, to lock yourself in a secret tower where no one can ever find you and you can live out your days in peace. But even if you could, very quickly it would become old. The silence would be peaceful, but there would be no laughter, no one to listen or talk to. You wouldn't be hurt, but your heart would be devoid of love and turn to stone. There might be peace, but you certainly wouldn't become more sanctified. What is the point of living - to have a peaceful, comfortable life or to be spreading God's Kingdom and seeking to behind more like Him? So maybe these little daily trials, the small taste of Christ's sufferings, is to make us more like Him, to bring us closer to God, and to glorify His name.

Oh yeah, I have a blog...

No, I haven't truely forgotten my little corner of cyberspace. It is more a lack of inspiration and limited time spent at an actual keyboard. I still don't have anything in particular to write about, so if you don't like to read rambling now would be a good time to stop. A random post of random things running through my head is better than nothing...at least that is what I hope!

Ron Paul is running for president. While I tend to favor Ron Paul, I'm not sure he is the one that can beat Obama. We need someone young, someone fresh, with Paul's ideals. Who will that be? It's a bit early to tell, but hopefully someone will surface that can help fix the American government.

I'm half-listening to the tv playing in the other room. It is amusing to hear the reporters speculate on and on about what the president is going to announce at 11pm at night. Libya? Security? Talking and talking about nothing. Geraldo mentions Bin Laden and I laugh a little inside. Really? No way, he is either dead and we don't know it or still hiding in a cave. And now, suddenly, in an instant - the unbelievable...Osama bin Laden confirmed dead. History being made as I watch. Living the moment that kids will read about history books. A man responsible for the death of so many has met his end. Ten years and he is gone.
Yet no matter what happens, life around us goes on. Our everyday lives aren't changing. Perhaps a mental rest. Of course, there will much rejoicing in justice being done.

In just five days I get to see Pride and Prejudice on stage! Another item checked off my bucket list. ;) I'm excited about spending some time with cool friends watching some good acting. I love the stage. There is nothing like watching something on stage. It is one of those times that the story truely feels alive and I never want the moment to end. The curtain closing always seems to come too soon, no matter how long they gave been open. In just twenty-nine days is one of the best weeks of the year. Dancing every night, food and fellowship and friends, gifted speakers...it is the week that flies by, that holds so much laughter, so many memories, and so much food for thought. In sixty days I get to spend the weekend with one of my best and closest friends, whom I yet have to meet in real life. Certainly going to be one of the sweetest, most memorable weekends of my life. Much to look forward to and savor.

Isn't it funny how you start something with no idea where it is going? I had no idea the history that would take place during a normal, quiet Sunday. Life is a journey we take one step at a time. Who knows what lies around the next bend? Let's go find out!