The twofold gift of gifts...

{It's time for a draft from the past! This seems particularly pertinent, so I have added some conclusions and I hope it still makes sense.} Something I've had to practice lately is submitting myself to be served. Like anyone else, I'm very independent and dislike showing signs of weakness. I'm thankful for those gentlemanly men I know that so readily exhibit chivalry when I need it (and when I don't). I have come to welcome a strong pair of hands that will carry a heavy package, or hold the door open when ones hands are full (and even if they're not). What I have sometimes struggled with is admitting a weakness, a need for help in other areas. When someone asks how they can help it can be difficult to say how much you need a meal, a visit, an extra pair of hands to clean up the house. It feels downright selfish to ask someone to do something for yourself. What I've had to learn is that sometimes we have to open up ourselves to be willing to accept blessings. People don't always know particular needs unless you being attention to it. We can't expect to always be on the giving end and not the receiving. When you see a need, don't wait to be asked, just do it. If someone asks you what they can do to help, be honest and you will be allowing much blessing to both to the giver and the receiver.

The safest place in the world...

When the hurting becomes too much, sometimes all we can do is stumble into His arms. Wash me with your healing water, grant me the strength to go on, send me your wisdom. I can't do this on my own.

Counting...

I'm so tired of this crazy life, living mostly at the hospital and just a bit at home. Hurrying to get there before the doctors round. Wanting answers where there is none. Yet in the midst of this rain I can find a multitude of reasons to dance, a thousand ways to brighten the day of others. There's a family down the hall that's been here nine weeks while we've been here one. We share our muffins with the security guard. We hang lights and decorate the hospital room for Christmas, hoping this will be one holiday we can celebrate at home. My brother plays games with one of the other patients here. Jon can eat whatever he wants, we no longer have to hide it, spell it out, or tell him no when he asks for it. Sometimes someone brings us a homemade meal and we enjoy the short break from food prepared at home in a hurry and cafeteria food. If we look hard enough, even the darkest cloud will contain a glimmer of silver lining if I will focus on the light.