22 April 2012

Drowning

Those days everything seems to go wrong? They can feel like the worst. When you run 45 minutes late to a graduation because you mixed up the time, end up locked out of aforementioned graduation, discover the gown you designed looks awful on you so you are left without a costume, can't find a way to translate much needed Paypal money into cash in a timely manner, awkward situations arise that you have to address, and a million other little things go wrong, the sea of hopelessness starts to bury you beneath her waves. But turn your focus towards the Son, and the gifts he has given you - rest, safe travels, extra meal tickets, going home, smiles and laughter, good food, packages in the mail, "I love you", a happy boy, great movies - the darkness of the depths fades in comparison.

This is not to say I'm not stressed out, worrying, crying, and sometimes losing sleep. I need to get this money switched over, and I don't know if it's going to happen before the ball. I wanted to make a fantastic dress, but it doesn't look like it isn't going to happen. It's hard sometimes to trust, to let go, to rely on someone else. So hard. But then maybe that is the point - things will become easier with practice, once we learn to let go. At least that is what I'm hoping...

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