12 January 2014

Letting Go

"And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?" ~ Coldplay

Love. They say it is a many splendored thing. So often we celebrate the joys and the beauty of love, but we neglect to remember that just like everything else, there is another side to this coin. On one side are visions of weddings, best friends enjoying each others company, or a mother cradling her wee bairn. But the other side is darker and more painful. We don't talk about it much. The mother's arms are empty as places the first handful of dirt on that casket. The friends haven't seen each other in years. The wedding memories are buried deep as angry words lash out hard as a whip, aiming to wound each other deep. It's love's dirty secret - love does not equal happiness. As C.S. Lewis put it, 

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”

Love doesn't protect us. In fact, it's the opposite. The best way to be hurt and broken beyond compare is to open yourself to love. You'll be rejected and pushed away. You'll weep and mourn. Yes, there will be happy moments dancing in the sunshine, but it's only a matter of time before the dark clouds gather and the storm comes. When the one you love takes your heart and tramples it on the ground, how can you pick up the pieces and move on? Before you the choice is death or life. You can kill what love remains, uproot it and toss it onto the trash heap. Build up walls so thick no one will ever be able to come close to you again. You'll be protected, safe. But the sunshine won't be able to enter. There will be none with which to sing and dance. You'll be far away from the dark side of love, but you'll be absolutely alone. 

It's a choice we make every day. Death or Life. Protection or Hurt. Loneliness or love. Choose love today, won't you? It'll hurt more than you've ever thought possible, but trust me - it is worth it. 

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