I Want to Know What Love is...

I really, really don't like puppy love/infatuation/whatever your favorite name for it is. You've seen the prototype - the man (the worst cases happen to the "macho" ones) falls head over heels in love with the girl of his dreams, and becomes pretty much consumed and obsessed. Almost every Facebook status mentions their "significant other". They are constantly talking or writing to each other. They want to spend all their time with each other. There's a time and place for romance - like after engagement and marriage - but some of what I've seen is just plain sickening. Maybe I'm just different. Or maybe, my time hasn't come yet. ;-) Of one thing am I certain - I want a guy who is obsessed and crazy about the Lord, not about me. I don't want some superficial love, full of silly nothings. Someone like Mr. Knightly - though he loves Emma, he isn't afraid to chasten her when she has sinned. I want a biblical love, one focused on encouraging spiritually, loving unconditionally, and becoming more like Christ.

That being said, here is a recent article on love that I enjoyed. My favorite is the list comparing infatuation and biblical love: http://ylcf.org/2009/11/what-true-love-is/

While I'm Waiting...

Here's a delayed post that I'm finally getting around to posting!

There is an ever-widening gap these days between high school and marriage. Marriage is delayed first for college, then until the debt incurred from college is paid off, and then further while a house is bought and/or a well paying job is secured. We delay until we feel completely prepared and everything is in place. But in reality the reading, preparation and study are useless until you can actually start applying them.

Now, that probably sounds like I don't think you should prepare at all. On the contrary, I am dismayed at the lack of preparation of young people for marriage. I am merely throwing out the thought that maybe some are delaying marriage because they don't feel completely prepared. These are just some of my musings.

I wish I saw more young ladies preparing for marriages, not careers. I am weary of the cultural norm that everyone should go to college after high school. While the aim should be growing up learning these various duties, I do think that after graduation there should more study made into being a homemaker (unless you're a guy, then it should be maturity and leadership). I would suggest first being knowledgeable about the care and keeping of a household - things like cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, beautifying the home, meal planning, child rearing, etc. - before seeking out a higher education. I think it's preferable to have a good foundation in those areas before marriage. I truly enjoy the circumstances Yahweh has placed me in - I have had hands-on experience with most everything pertaining to babies because of my now eighteen month old sister, I can see how different schooling methods work as I help my younger brothers with their school, and just learn the general care of a household. I realize not everyone can have the experiences I've had (though I do think if you don't have any younger siblings, you should consider helping someone who has young children so to gain that experience - and I would venture to say that applies to men and women), but I do think there ought to be some sort of preparation in those areas. We shouldn't wait to prepare, but should prepare while we wait! I've obviously addressed more of the ladies side of the issue, but the idea of preparation applies to the gentlemen, too.

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Mark Regnerus on Early Marriage

I will post some of my thoughts later, but in the meantime enjoy reading these links:

Say Yes: What Are You Waiting For? by Mark Regnerus

The Case for Early Marriage by Mark Regnerus

Where are the Men? Thoughts on The Case for Early Marriage by Samuel Kordik.


Shalom,

The "Gift" of Singleness

Frequently today, marriage is postponed or delayed. Too many are putting off marriage until their thirties and even forties. You are expected to meekly wait until the right one more or less falls directly into your lap instead of actively searching for a spouse. While I believe that there does exist those truly called to celibacy, they are few and far between. Prolonged singleness, however, does not equal celibacy.

Who is to blame for the recent rise in number of singles, especially those older in age? Though I think there is percentage of blame that rests on families, I believe that it is foremostly the church. In nearly every church, you will find a single adults group. While these can be used to promote marriage amount there members and helping them find suitable mates, they often end up doing the opposite. Through these groups, one can fill up there schedules so that you are never lonely, never have a chance to consider marriage. Often the predominate thinking there - as well as elsewhere - is that as a single, you are somehow more of service to God. In this day and age, avenues of service where marriage is an impediment are few. Being single does not make one holier. Yes, there are daily distractions in marriage, but they are just as many - perhaps more, since there is none to share them with - than in the single state. Once our churches return to scriptural teaching in the area of marriage and singleness, I believe the resulting change would overflow to many different aspects of our culture.
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