No Going Back

There is no real going back. Though I may come to the Shire, it will not seem the same; for I shall not be the same. I am wounded with knife, sting, and tooth, and a long burden. Where shall I find rest? - Frodo

I don't usually cry at the end of books. It's fiction, after all. Why waste tears or feel sad for someone who never actually existed? That being said, I cried at the end of Lord of the Rings. It wasn't so much finishing the book and feeling like a friend had been lost, though that feeling was present, too. No, it was the change that had taken place in Frodo. The parting of two friends that had been through everything together. Frodo had given up everything to save the Shire. Yes, it was saved, but not for him. Then I read the story again and wondered what would have happened if Frodo knew everything that would befall him. Would he still be willing to be a part of the fellowship of the ring? Now, Lord of the Rings is just a book. It is a brilliant world that J.R.R. Tolkien created. But fiction has to be draw from somewhere. Good fiction isn't just about a touching story, it is about the life application one draws from it. As G. K. Chesterton once said, "Fairy tales are more than true — not because they tell us dragons exist, but because they tell us dragons can be beaten. ".

Sometimes we find ourselves in undesirable circumstances because of the decisions we've made. We find ourselves wishing we could go back and change our decision. Life isn't like a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure story, we can't see ahead of time where each choice will lead nor can we go back and change our choice if it proves unsatisfactory. No, we must plunge head-first into the story of our lives. There have been very painful situations I've been through in my life. Sometimes I've wished I could go back and start over, convinced that whatever the other option was, it certainly has to be much better. No matter how much I may wish for that, it is not going to happen. That's not what God wants me to do. I have to stop living in the past. Not only that, but I need to unclench my fists and let go of my future, placing it in the palm of His hands and simply trusting in His sovereignty. I can't change the past. God has brought me through those times for a reason. Sometimes I how even the most painful situations have been for the best, but sometime there seems to be no earthly reason for the pain and hurt. We have to let go of the past. The aching will always be there, but we have to realize that the breaking was for a reason.

We can't judge the future by our past experiences. If we've been hurt in the past, that doesn't give us a "get-out-of-pain-free" cards for the rest of our lives. This is a fallen world. We will be hurt, especially by those we love and care for the most. To love anything at all is to make ourselves prone. I can't say it any better than C.S. Lewis already has: "To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”

What are we then to do? We are to make ourselves vulnerable, we are to love. We will be broken, crushed, pressed, put through all kinds of pain, and for what? For the glory of God. When is our testimony the strongest when we are faithful to God while we are happy and blessed, or when we are broken and bruised but still praising in Him, trusting Him, glorifying Him? Like a light in the darkness, so will our witness shine through for Yahweh's praise and glory. Trust and follow Him, even through the valley of the shadow of death, and leave the outcome in His all-capable hands.