The Stairway

The flight of stairs climbs higher and higher, or at least so I think, since the exact height is only know by the maker of these stairs. The light in my hand directs my path, but the complete journey is hidden in a mist that sometimes swirls around my feet, and at other times it parts enough to allow me to see many steps ahead. Tightly I cling to the hand that gently leads me upwards. I know the destination, where these stairs will end won't come as a surprise. It is simply the path I will travel that is hidden.

As I step onto the stair that marks my twentieth birthday, I glance back to gaze at where I've been. I ponder these past years and whether they were spent wisely.

I am surprised to see high-school graduation already four years behind me. Four years sounds like a long time until I start looking back at what has happened during that time. Four years just about takes us back to the start of my family's adoption journey. Wow...four years. Sounds like a long time until I glance over at my almost-three-year-old sister and remember, just as if it were yesterday, walking into that room to see and hold her for the first time. I remember the tears as I was at last able to hold a little baby in my arms, knowing that she was my sister and no one could change that. I remember the heartache from different situations that fell through. The disappointments. The waiting. The trusting. It wasn't easy, but God was faithful and He continues to be.

I peer back even further to my early teens. I was a different person then. When I read my journal entries I laugh. Though I enjoyed being the age I was, I looked forward to being 18, 19, and 20 because surely I would be married by then and have my own children. I would be well on my way to visiting all the states. I would be travelling the world, taking trips to Great Britain, Australia, Africa, and who knows where else. I would be a budding actress, a well-known seamstress, or a famous basketball star. My dreams were big and nothing seemed impossible.

I draw my gaze back to the steps that now surround me. I look at the person God has changed me into and feel a wave of thankfulness for His strong hand constantly leading me higher and higher. I still want to travel the world, to get married and have children. But those things are no longer as important to me as they once were. More than anything else, I just want to serve Christ and work to spread the kingdom wherever He places me. I want to be willing to go to Africa or Asheville in order to spread the gospel and make disciples of all nations. I want to see Christ glorified.

I finally turn to gaze forward into the midst. I still can't see where this mighty Hand is leading me, but this I know - wherever I may go, whatever I may become, all the glory goes to Him. May His name be exalted in all the earth!