Courtbook

"Enjoy Facebook. And if you're a godly single man, receive it as a gift from God
to assist you in nonchalantly building a friendship with a godly Christian
woman. I'm serious, men! If you're mature enough to pursue marriage, Facebook
should be "Courtbook" for you. Don't just sit there, get on the ball and go
"poke" a godly girl." - Joshua Harris

I stumbled across this quote from Josh Harris today on a friend's Facebook account. (To read the quote in context, see here). At first the quote struck me as hilarious as I have several friends where Facebook played a significant role in their relationships. After a good laugh, I started to consider the implications of such a statement. Should we use Facebook be viewed as a viable tool in our search for godly spouses?

Before preceding any further, my clarifications would be: 1. You have already met the person or 2. You have a mutual friend. Though it would certainly be possible, I don't think I could be as comfortable if it was someone I had never met, didn't have any mutually friends, etc. etc.

What would be the pros and cons of such a use of Facebook? As with any form of electronic communication, there is a degree of accountability that is lost. It is all too easy to say things in writing that we would think twice about before saying aloud. But then, we also have the option of thinking twice before mentioning something. It can also be, as Josh Harris says, a "nonchalant" (or perhaps impersonal) way to get to know someone. You can get to know them on a casual level without commitment - which can certainly be taken advantage of in both a good way and bad.

Sometimes it's just easier to talk with someone online before you approach them in person. I know that it has been the case for me. I feel more comfortable talking to someone in person once I have know some of their likes/dislikes and interests. Maybe it's just because I've experienced that awkward silence where no one can think of anyone to say, one too many times. If I know at least one thing the other person is passionate about, I can then use that to draw them out of their shell. Otherwise I tend to fail miserably as a conversationalist when the only answer I receive is "yes" and "no". I view being friends with someone on Facebook as a conversational aide that I can draw on during those awkward pauses.

Charles Dickens stated it well when he said, "Electric communication, will never be a substitute, for the face of someone who with their soul, encourages another person to be brave and true.". I would agree with Josh Harris on this one, we can - and perhaps should - utilize Facebook as a springboard to find a godly spouse. Only keep in mind that important little word - springboard. It is a starting place to push you in the right direction. Feel like this person is someone you could love/respect? Move on to the next step. Meet their family (if you haven't done so already). Watch them in real-life situations to get a feel for their true character - not simply that which they can present through their writing. Facebook can be a means to an end, but not the only means that should be used to accomplish that end.

There's some of my musings on the topic. May they amuse you, if nothing else. :-)