Letting Go

"And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?" ~ Coldplay

Love. They say it is a many splendored thing. So often we celebrate the joys and the beauty of love, but we neglect to remember that just like everything else, there is another side to this coin. On one side are visions of weddings, best friends enjoying each others company, or a mother cradling her wee bairn. But the other side is darker and more painful. We don't talk about it much. The mother's arms are empty as places the first handful of dirt on that casket. The friends haven't seen each other in years. The wedding memories are buried deep as angry words lash out hard as a whip, aiming to wound each other deep. It's love's dirty secret - love does not equal happiness. As C.S. Lewis put it, 

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”

Love doesn't protect us. In fact, it's the opposite. The best way to be hurt and broken beyond compare is to open yourself to love. You'll be rejected and pushed away. You'll weep and mourn. Yes, there will be happy moments dancing in the sunshine, but it's only a matter of time before the dark clouds gather and the storm comes. When the one you love takes your heart and tramples it on the ground, how can you pick up the pieces and move on? Before you the choice is death or life. You can kill what love remains, uproot it and toss it onto the trash heap. Build up walls so thick no one will ever be able to come close to you again. You'll be protected, safe. But the sunshine won't be able to enter. There will be none with which to sing and dance. You'll be far away from the dark side of love, but you'll be absolutely alone. 

It's a choice we make every day. Death or Life. Protection or Hurt. Loneliness or love. Choose love today, won't you? It'll hurt more than you've ever thought possible, but trust me - it is worth it. 

Hair Clip Giveaway/Online Party

Just slipping in for a minute to let you all know about an online party a friend of mine is having on her blog! Head on over there before tonight and you can enter to win a clip from Lilla Rose. Even if you don't win, be sure to check out the different flexi clips, hair sticks, and other items on the Lilla Rose website. I have several flexi clips that I use all the time. I love these and receive a compliment just about every time I wear them! I don't spend a lot of time fixing my hair, so it was wonderful to be able to find these - just a quick twist of my hair and I'm done! These are very sturdy, I've been using mine for about three years now and the only problems I've had is one of the little dangles coming off of one (it's still fine and you don't notice it's gone). One of my favorite times to wear the flexi clips is when I'm dancing. Any other hairstyle always seems to fall out or come loose since I'm a bit of a rambunctious dancer. :) With these clips, I can quickly pull my hair up and out of the way without worrying about it getting messed up. If it starts getting loose, or I want to readjust it, I can easily and quickly do it in a matter of seconds while I'm waiting out at the top or bottom of the dance. These are great for girls, and guys these would make great gifts for your sisters, mothers, and significant others! Head on over and check them out today! :)

Fix Me

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down on your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down on your face
And I...

Tears stream down on your face
I promise you that I will learn from mistakes.
Tears stream down on your face
And I...

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Crumbling

When the world around us is shaking, when our dreams are falling to pieces, when our shelters crumble to the ground, there is only one place we can find true shelter. Your next step may find you being sucked down into a pit of quicksand, stuck in a place where everything goes wrong and nothing goes right. You despair, but do you grab onto the Rock to keep from sinking further?

We're all being broken down, cracks filled in, corners rounded off, but we are being made more beautiful. Take your eyes off the pain, and look towards the hope of future glory - when all will be made right.

Sometimes, just looking at the facades tricks you into thinking they all have it together, everything is going all right. But those are just illusions - if they let you in, you realize they have struggles and fears just like you. Man was meant to have fellowship, companionship. From the beginning he was never meant to go it alone. Don't hide behind whitewashed walls, open your gates to let in your forever sisters and brothers. It isn't always easy, but it is necessary and worth it. It would be discouraging to run in a marathon with everyone far ahead, but if you glance around you will find there are in fact others running right beside you, going through the same trials and difficulties. Find them, be encouraged as you encourage, and keep your eyes on the goal.

When it falls apart...

...give thanks. We've all heard "give thanks in everything". Sometimes it is hard to be thankful for the hard, difficult pills we are given. When two souls suddenly and unexpectedly depart this earth, for what is there to be thankful? What about when the best laid plans go awry? Or those days when everything falls apart and nothing seems to go right? It's difficult. Sadness swells inside up, overflowing drop by drop. Depression sinks in. One feels helpless, useless. The waves are rising to greet us, threatening to crash over us. But what /should/ we do? Continue looking down at the water swirling all around, or do change our focous and raise our eyes to behold the Son? So often it's a matter of where we are looking. When we focous on the bad, the things that go wrong, that wring our hearts dry, they are easily blown out of proportion and become the first things we see, the prominent objects on the stage of life. But what if - what if when we have a choice, we raise our eyes to behold the goodness that has been bestowed upon us?  Everything else will grown strangely dim when we begin to look for the good, when we start to name and number the gifts lavished upon us. Funny how quickly they pile up, how eagerly we look for more, how simple it is. It won't always be easy to give thanks, especially in the darkest hours, but we have to fight off the mud of despair that threatens to pull us down. Simple enough, really, but so very worth our time.

~sunsets in review mirrors
~good music to accompany long roads
~a second driver willing to take a turn
~a hand held out when stepping out of a slippery boat
~rain that waiting until halfway through to soak us all. At least we got to eat a little something before it began.
~laughter with friends
~grace and mercy when we need it most
~her smile when she tells you she's having fun
~completed projects
~finished books
~excited voices, happy faces, and little people that nearly tackle you at the door when you get home.
~another day to serve the King

Post Event Blues

Sometimes it's rather aggravating how much work goes into such a short amount of times. Six hours of meetings, countless  hours of planning, four hours of shopping, nine hours of cooking, eight hours of decorating and hundreds of dollars later, the annual historical ball is over, just like that. Just now it is really starting to sink in, though the full post-event blues will really set in after the thank notes are written, the final checks cashed, and the decorations packed tidily away. It's a bittersweet feeling. I'm looking forward to getting a decent amount of sleep (the five hours every night this week just didn't cut it) and having some other things to think about and focus on. I won't have to worry any more whether I'm missing or forgetting something as I drift off to sleep. I will miss all the fun I had planning this with some very amazingly awesome people. I will miss dancing the night away with friends. In some ways, I'll miss the rushing around, pulling things together at the last minute (like those pitiful target cookies that started as a great idea but ended up not having enough time allotted for them). However, I'm not desperate enough to find something else to plan quite yet. I'm ready to enjoy just being a guest for a while. :) 

Drowning

Those days everything seems to go wrong? They can feel like the worst. When you run 45 minutes late to a graduation because you mixed up the time, end up locked out of aforementioned graduation, discover the gown you designed looks awful on you so you are left without a costume, can't find a way to translate much needed Paypal money into cash in a timely manner, awkward situations arise that you have to address, and a million other little things go wrong, the sea of hopelessness starts to bury you beneath her waves. But turn your focus towards the Son, and the gifts he has given you - rest, safe travels, extra meal tickets, going home, smiles and laughter, good food, packages in the mail, "I love you", a happy boy, great movies - the darkness of the depths fades in comparison.

This is not to say I'm not stressed out, worrying, crying, and sometimes losing sleep. I need to get this money switched over, and I don't know if it's going to happen before the ball. I wanted to make a fantastic dress, but it doesn't look like it isn't going to happen. It's hard sometimes to trust, to let go, to rely on someone else. So hard. But then maybe that is the point - things will become easier with practice, once we learn to let go. At least that is what I'm hoping...